Categories: Gettin The Mind Right

3 Tips for More Confidence

Happy Monday!

This past weekend I was invited to speak on “Finding a Healthy Rhythm” at The Asymmetrical Leader Retreat in CA.

The attendees ranged from former Army Rangers to highly successful entrepreneurs running 20+ million dollar companies.

When they arrived, it was obvious everyone was relatively fit.

And for a brief moment, I felt self-doubt. What could I possibly add to these people’s lives?

I felt that twinge of doubt not because anyone said anything to me, but because of my own insecurities from my past. Growing up, I had zero self-confidence and often felt like I wasn’t enough, so these feelings creep up every now and again. Here’s how I handle it:

3-Step Approach to Gaining Confidence:

  1. Pinch yourself (literally): This serves as a pattern interruption and disrupts your concern/worries in the moment and allows you become more rational and refocus. Let’s face it; we worry way more than we should. What happened in the past (whatever it was) is always worse in our minds than it actually was. Not to mention, too often we get stuck in our own heads, thinking ‘they’re looking at me funny,’ ‘what are they going to think,’ ‘I won’t/I can’t — none of which are true until we give the fear & anxiety life by believing it.
    • Next time you find yourself fearful or insecure; BREAK THAT PATTERN by pinching your forearm.
  2. Recite affirmations: Positive affirmations really work! If you repeat over and over something that is close to your heart that you want to believe, your mind has no choice but to believe it or at least feel more comfortable with it. The more you affirm, the more it becomes real. A simple one I use is: “I am that guy,” referring to the “guy” as me at my best – what I want and aspire to be.
    • Create your affirmation – fill in the blanks: “I am __________(whatever it is you want to be or do).
  3. Self-assurance: No matter who you are or where you are in your life, there’s something special about you. Think about your wins/previous accomplishments or something you’re proud of – it can be ANYTHING. We are our own worst critic but we really need to be our biggest fan. We’re not talking about ego or arrogance, rather just acknowledging your achievements and gifts. It’s not fair to shame yourself on what you’re not or what you don’t have and it’s unhealthy and unproductive as well. Instead, build off your strengths!
    • Write a brag list: Go somewhere quiet and write down all your accomplishments and special gifts you’ve been given. I recommend keeping an ongoing note in your phone so you can continually add to it.

Over time your confidence will increase; you’ve just got to put in a little bit of work. If you’re in a really tough place right now, just know it’s going to be all right. Go through the exercise above as many times as you need to; but I promise taking this time to work on your confidence will pay off huge dividends.

As for my talk and coaching, it went really well and I got a lot of great feedback!

One woman for instance, has had 12 back surgeries and has seen all types of doctors over the past 15 years. Because any sustained movement seemed to cause her back to flare up, she neglected exercise altogether.  As a result, she gained weight and lost her confidence. After spending some time with her, I created a very conservative workout for her to do with the group at our morning workouts. Not only did she not get any flare ups, she felt amazing because she proved to herself that being sedentary doesn’t have to be her reality. And I helped her partner work through some nutrition issues he struggled with since high school. These were just a couple of many instances from the weekend—it’s truly a blessing to be able to help change peoples lives.

It’s also incredible the type of change that can happen over a weekend – I cannot wait until the m.e.l.t. Immersion! Which by the way, we still have one spot left so let us know ASAP if you’re interested!

Also, please let me know if your company or organization is ever looking to bring in a motivational speaker. This weekend reminded me of how much I love the energy of talking to a group!




Have you been searching for the best whole-body workout in all of Connecticut? Look no further–it’s here at m.e.l.t. studios!  Try our M30 workout FREE — just send us an email at and we will hook you up with an amazing workout at one of our studios in Glastonbury, South Windsor, and West Hartford!

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