Categories: Gettin The Mind Right

7 Tips To Overcome Insecurities

Happy Monday!

 

I’ve witnessed my own insecurities evolve since grade school.  As a kid I was bullied and very self conscious. I was in reading classes, speech therapy and never scored well on standardized tests so naturally talking and reading, especially in front of people I didn’t feel comfortable with, were real issues for me.  I remember stuttering because I was so in my head with what I was about to say and how it was going to sound.

 

Flash forward to today: speaking to groups is not just a passion of mine, but something that gives me great energy. As a kid and even during my 20s, I’d hold back on stuff I’d say/do/wear in case of how people might judge me. Now, I run towards all that stuff. As I’ve found, the fastest way to create the most amount of change and leave a lasting impact on the world is to become more of my true self.

 

And yet, I still have my own insecurities.  I’m going to share a personal story to illustrate what I know to be true about insecurities, with the sincere hope that it helps you.

 

Instagram is something that makes me feel insecure from time to time.  Specifically, it relates to the number of followers I do have or don’t have. Even though I know the number of followers really means nothing—especially considering how many people literally buy followers —seeing my number rise then drop and stay the same over a period of time, along with seeing some of my peer’s numbers skyrocket, makes me doubt myself and my ability to help people.

 

7 Things to Know so You Can Better Face Your Own Insecurities

 

  1. The origin of our insecurities is from our ego/our small self. Insecurities are irrational and mean very little in the grand scheme of life.
     
  2. They are part of every human experience. So do not judge yourself; you and everyone you know have insecurities, and that’s normal.
     
  3. Don’t let sharing your insecurities with others give you further insecurities. It’s all relative. What makes me feel insecure probably sounds foolish to you, just as yours may sound foolish to someone else. When you think you have it worse than others, you will begin to act like a victim which will stop you from moving forward.
     
  4. Own ‘em! What makes you insecure is just one more part of YOU. While you don’t want your insecurities to hold you back, know that overcoming them will be some of the most important moments of your human experience. Referring back to my personal story; I used to be in speech classes now I get paid good money to speak in front of huge groups of professionals. My strengths as a speaker are not technical; rather, I speak in my own passionate and authentic way which makes me unique to everyone else.

 

  1. Call them out. Insecurities are put in our path to help us grow. When we hide them or don’t deal with them, we create a feedback loop which then perpetuates the situation. You feel insecure because of X, so you don’t do X. Because you don’t do X, you get Y results and because you get Y results, you’re now feeling Z in addition to X, and so forth. Put a stop to it. Share your insecurities aloud because when you do, you realize how silly they sound and you can then take the power back. 
    • I started calling myself out about the social media followers and I’d feel instantly better. Then I started writing about it and telling others. 

      Now when those feelings do pop up, I’m able to quickly neutralize them. Whereas before I’d judge myself for feeling them, which made them linger plus I’d then feel bad that I cared about something so silly which would annoy me even more—all of which would demotivate me from opening an app, which took me off my mission to help as many people as possible, which led to another set of frustrations… 

      See what I mean about a feedback loop? Right there is a good example of why we should NOT allow ourselves to run away from stuff and get trapped in these feedback loops.
       

  1. There are still kernels of truth in our insecurities. This can be tough to swallow, but as we face and own our insecurities, it’s extremely effective to ask ourselves, “Why is this happening and what is the lesson?” 
    • Going back to my own personal example; my social media insecurity forced me to adapt better social strategies, as well as have a level of acceptance with where I’m at as far as followers. 

      So many of the peers I was comparing myself to spend hours each day on their social media accounts (contrary to what it might look like, there is a lot of work involved). 

      First, I run multiple offline businesses and simply cannot allocate that much of my time; that’s the plain truth of the matter. But I also need to acknowledge that despite that truth, I still can get better! Second, my best comparison is to how I did yesterday– not how someone else did today.
       

  2. Insecurities don’t ever go away completely, but they do evolve. That is good – that is growth! Remember, it’s part of the human experience so don’t expect to never deal with them.
     

    If you see challenges as opportunities, you’ll find greater fulfillment in the day to day journey.

 

#meltmonday
#meltmindset

JC

 

 

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