Categories: Gettin The Mind Right

Be Selfish

Happy Monday!

The word selfish has negative connotations; like everything else in existence, there’s a plus and negative side.

I’m not recommending you don’t share your time/energy to help others – not at all. I’m a firm believer in “team work makes the dream work!”

But today, I want to encourage you to be more selfish, in a positive way.

A big mistake we see people make is to give everything they have to their family (especially their kids) and to their work. On the surface, it sounds like a good thing to do.

The problem is when you give everything else to everyone/everything else, you have nothing for yourself. And worse, two things end up happening:

  1. You go on empty – symptoms such as depression and fatigue start to set in. If you’re full of love, it’s very important you understand this one simple truth: YOU CANNOT GIVE ON EMPTY!
  2. Become resentful – with parents, this is often 22 years in the making, when you have always put your kids before yourself. Then they grow up and live their own lives, leaving you sad & angry. This can also happen in relationships and in work where soon you become so frustrated you end up hating the other side.

Put Your Oxygen Mask On First!

I’m sure you’ve heard this analogy before, but it’s so true. If don’t take care of your health first, you become another person who needs external help, which adds to the overall problem.

I get it though–it doesn’t sound right to “put yourself” first because we are conditioned as kids to share and that being selfish is bad. But if you’re short on oxygen, you can’t help your kid and you create a bigger issue for everyone around you.

I struggle with this even now.

When I’m doing my own personal workouts in a big box gym or wherever else, that is my time to reset and recharge.  Most the day, every day, I give everything I have to my team, clients and to the social media world. I take my coach hat off and put my headphones in so I can zone in.

So I’ll be in the gym, working out, mid-set, with head phones in…and random people will start conversations with me.

This is where I struggle.

I’m totally honored people want to ask me questions – in fact I live for that when I’m working (the rest of the 12 hours of the day) and I do love people.

I’m never rude to anyone, but I can be terse with them because I need to stay in my zone.  Let’s say I just drop everything, have a conversation (could last anywhere from 2 + minutes), I only have 20-90 minutes to myself, and now I’ll have less. I will not get to recharge and will start to feel mentally drained. Eventually I become less attentive in all other areas of my life.

There have been times where I let this happen too much and I started to resent my career. If you know me, you know how crazy that is because I LOVE what I do!

Taking time to be in my own zone every day does not mean I don’t love helping people.

Taking time for you to get your workout in does not mean you’re a bad or selfish parent – it’s the opposite. In fact, it shows your kids (who are watching more than you think) how important it is to make health a part of your life and allows you to show up in the way you want to for them.

3 Tips to Become More Selfish

  1. Do something small for yourself every day:
    You can’t run around for everyone and everything every second, if you don’t carve out some time (even 2 minutes!) you will hit emptpy + resentment very soon.
  2. Carve out time for at least 3 workouts per week:
    Treat these like your kid’s doctor appointments–you would NEVER miss a single one, so don’t miss your workouts, ether!
    At m.e.l.t., you only need 1.5 hours per week!!
  3. Eat and drink for your goals:
    Don’t worry about what others will say or think when you’re out at dinner or a social event. If you are serious about your goals and want to pack your own food OR ask for sauce on the side or side salad instead of carb OR aren’t drinking – DO IT. If people feel bad, that’s not on you–it’s on them.

Here’s the reality, even if you were to eat or drink in a way that makes them comfortable, you’re actually hurting them; whereas if you’re showing up for your goals, you give them permission to do the same. Your actions may not cause change in the moment but will inspire them to think differently.

Above everything, be selfish with your health. From there, give your awesomeness and love to everyone around you — that alone will make the world a better place!




Have you been searching for the best whole-body workout in all of Connecticut? Look no further–it’s here at m.e.l.t. studios!  Try our M30 workout FREE — just send us an email at and we will hook you up with an amazing workout at one of our studios in Glastonbury, South Windsor, and West Hartford!

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