Categories: Gettin The Mind Right

How to Suffer Less

Happy Monday!

We all will suffer at some point in our lives no matter what – there’s no way to escape it. However there is a formula that can help us reduce the level at which we suffer.

 

Suffering = Pain  x  Resistance

 

Pain (from injury or loss) is unavoidable. We all at will experience pain.  Using my AWFUL math skills to relate it; pain is fixed. We cannot control it.

 

Resistance on the other hand, is considered “variable” as it CAN be controlled. We can decide whether or not we want to resist the pain that we will face. We do this through seeking distractions (stuff to occupy or numb our mind) as well as fighting the pain, as if we have some control. Other form of resistance are self-pity and avoidance—feeling sorry for ourselves or denying the pain even exists.  Both are ultimately unproductive and damaging.

 

Remember, we are already experiencing pain. The suffering becomes worse when we resist/fight or shame ourselves regarding the pain. It’s important to understand that we cannot control our reactions and that it’s GOOD to allow ourselves to feel the range of emotions that accompany the pain. In fact it’s VITAL that we face the pain in order to move past it. This is all normal.

 

So next time you are upset when an unfortunate event occurs—one that you didn’t want to happen—literally pinch yourself and ask a very important question – ‘Do I want to add more suffering?’

 

Questioning ourselves is the best way to bring us into the present. It helps us get out of our heads and look at issues objectively.

  • If the issue is something small or unimportant, your awareness will allow you to let it roll by and forget it ever happened. The more you question your upsets and discomforts, the better perspective you’ll gain and the more you’ll be able to not sweat the small stuff. This practice can be life-changing!

 

  • If the issue at hand is significant, you should allow yourself to really feel all the emotions that are coming to you and just let them happen. Don’t fight them!  Acknowledge that the “thing” you didn’t want to happen, happened. Now you must give yourself room to suffer–to experience whatever you feel–so that you can move past it.

 

#meltmonday
#meltmindset

JC

ILLUSTRATION via:

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