Categories: Gettin The Mind Right

Chasing vs Healing

Happy Monday!

When you pour everything you have and do everything you can to hit a goal, your vibration shifts from the present moment to the chasing mode.

Let’s break that down:

  • Think of your vibration as a reflection of your inner thoughts, feelings, beliefs and words you use. It is energy you can’t see but it does manifest your own reality.
  • Think of chasing as wanting an external outcome so badly that you shift your mind and all your efforts towards that thing. Think back to a moment where you worked your butt towards something but you felt like no matter what you did, you weren’t getting any closer? Hold on to this…we’re going to revisit.


Here’s an example to help paint a more vivid picture.

A few years back I was obsessed with becoming a ‘fitness celebrity,’ it was a fantasy in my mind where if I could have a huge platform, I wouldn’t have to do all the leg work for creating & sustaining the platform, that I could just do what I love most — coach & inspire.

Since it was a fantasy, (I only saw positives), I was chasing external things I thought would get me there. I believed that being on other people’s blogs, in magazines and on big company’s DVD’s were the most important factors for me.

I ended up making it onto two reality shows—ironically both to win a contract for a DVD (Men’s Health & Team Beachbody HQ)—and finished in the top 3 for both. After the Beachbody experience, I was heartbroken. I’d put all my energy & focus into winning something I had no control over…

I made my effort all about the outcome, which didn’t allow me to be present in the moment and appreciate all that was in front of me. As a result, I was left feeling empty…which is crazy because of the incredible support I had through that process from family, friends, clients and people across the world I never met. But I couldn’t appreciate all that. Deep inside, I felt that for me to deserve love and to be enough, I needed to have a status.

Ultimately, the real issue was not winning or losing a reality show or winning a contract with a big company. The real issue was my own issues with self love. I felt I wasn’t enough.


What if we separate external actions and recognize for what they are–external actions we have no control over? We’re still going to do these things because what you want will not just magically show up. But we’re going to do these things only after we make time for ourselves to do the “daily work”.

For me, the daily work includes activities to help me be present and work on my self love issues; reading, writing, journaling, meditating and so forth.

The root of every chase is tied to some emotional deficit. Most often it’s self love — that we are not enough. We think that if we just attain XYZ, we will become enough. Outcomes/goals will come and go, but the unhealed wounds inside will remain unless we face them head on, allow ourselves to feel and forgive ourselves for being human, and work towards healing them.

Make Time to Work on YOU

  1. Set a timer for 5–10 minutes and do a brain dump and journal all your thoughts & feelings.
  2. Then, set the timer for a minimum of 1 minute (but try to make it longer, like 5) to simply be quiet, sit and breathe.
  3. Ask yourself questions to get to the root of why you feel a certain way and write down your answers. For example, why did I feel the need to chase opportunities to be on a big platform? Because the little boy inside who was bullied still has open wounds that prevent him (me) from feeling like I’m enough.

Ultimately this boils down to taking accountability and responsibility for ourselves. When we chase goals, we always have someone or something to blame because we feel we need that out. But the truth is we don’t need anyone to blame. We need to practice more forgiveness — it’s OKAY to be imperfect. Once we can accept this truth, we can begin to work on the greatest goal, perhaps the purpose of our life — to greater experience self love because the better we become at that, the more we can love and appreciate everything & everyone around us.




ILLUSTRATION via: Pinterest


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