Categories: Gettin The Mind Right

Progress Beats Outcome

Happy Monday!

The other day I got a much needed massage.


The massage therapist asked me what I wanted her to focus on and so I told her; the back of my knee, my pectorals, and my psoas. For those of you who think “psoas” must be a typo: it is the muscle connecting the lumbar vertebrae to the femur. The psoas major is the biggest and strongest of a group of muscles called the hip flexors: together they contract to pull the thigh and the torso toward each other.


She had me start on my stomach. Within a few minutes, we both acknowledged how tight my upper back was. I could tell she was conflicted about how she was going to give me a full body massage, hit my focus areas and work out the knots in my back.


So I told her to just work through my back first then whatever we get done, we get done—but not to rush through what was more pressing (my upper back & neck).


But here is what’s interesting: I went into it expecting to get my entire body massaged as well as focus on my knees, pec and psoas.  What ended up happening was that she released some major tension in my upper back and neck, smashed my hamstrings (which released the issue with my knee) and stretched my psoas.


Throughout my massage, as I was laying there in agony, I couldn’t help but draw a connection between this massage and life. How often do we…


  • set high expectations based off what we think it should be?
  • overlook the areas of our life that need the most attention?
  • fixate on the outcome and overlook all the progress we made?


So I didn’t get a full body massage and it didn’t go as I planned. Yet I walked out feeling amazing—I had no idea how tight my upper back & neck were!  However if this had happened back when I was being an uptight perfectionist, I would have been disappointed & frustrated because she didn’t cover every single part of my body.


I share this story to illustrate how silly we can be when we focus solely on outcomes and ignore our progress.


Focus on Your Progress, Not the Outcome

It’s important to understand our expectations are NOT based on a universal truth. Our expectations are created by the ego which feeds on our insecurities & fantasies.


So often our expectations are not just unrealistic, they’re superficial. Because even when we do achieve a goal, we’re satisfied for a few minutes then fixate on something else.


So would you rather get everything you think you want only to start all over once you get those things? Or enjoy every step of the way and continue to build upon your growth and progress?


Here are 5 tips to better enjoy each day:


  1. Look at goals as check points NOT end points.
  2. Choose to THRIVE not arrive. The only way to thrive is to be present. It’s impossible to thrive in the past or in the future.
  3. Cut your goal in half.
  4. When you find yourself upset about the past or anxious about the future, question those thoughts because they are really about the present.
  5. Be flexible, fluid, ready and willing to adapt to it all as life unfolds.


Remember, being more present is a practice. Just keep working on it and forgive yourself when you slip up…its going to happen. And to help accelerate your ability to be more present, make sure to subscribe to my NEW podcast, ‘The Best Day Of My Life Project!”






Have you been searching for the best whole-body workout in all of Connecticut? Look no further–it’s here at m.e.l.t. studios!  Try our M30 workout FREE — just send us an email at and we will hook you up with an amazing workout at one of our studios in Glastonbury or South Windsor!

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