Categories: Gettin The Mind Right

How to Get Out of Your Own Way

Happy Monday!

There is no manual for how to be a human. Our educational institutions teach us about our world and provide opportunities for us to find and excell at our interests. But we get ZERO education on how to operate the most complex organism on the planet. We are essentially meat vehicles with an onboard computer that’s running on ancient software.


We subconsciously operate from the oldest part of our brain, which is wired for survival. Yet most of us (thankfully) do not regularly experience actual life or death situations.


As a result, we move through life with an outdated software that focuses on keeping us safe. Since most times there is no actual life or death threat, the mind creates problems; it gives us stuff to worry about and makes us feel like we are not enough. In an effort to provide protection, the mind creates layers of resistance between any type of change that challenges the status quo is viewed as a threat. Ultimately, we create our own problems and then can’t get out of our own way.


The Most Common Tendencies That Keep Us Small

  • We Fixate:
    • We focus on events that do not match our view of the world or our preferences as to what we want to happen.
    • We hang onto the past and keep it in the forefront of our mind, which takes us out of the present and limits our ability to move forward.
  • We Get Trapped In Our Heads:
    • We care excessively about what others think and say.
    • We internalize our feelings and blame the world for our issues.
  • We Get Attached To Desires and The Illusion of Permanence:
    •  The difference between desiring something and a healthy pull towards something is attachment. When we desire something, we only see its positive qualities. The more we want something, the more we fear not getting it or losing it.
    • We tend to be fearful of the unknown and therefore do not like nor embrace change.
  • We Force:
    • We want something so bad, we direct all our time and energy towards the thing and fully expect that our efforts will get us what we want–no matter how unrealistic our desire is.


Too often, we get in our own way because we refuse to take the time to be honest with ourselves and seek an objective perspective. At the root of those common tendencies is fear.


The fear of rejection is wired into the reptilian part of our brain that evolved to make us pursue acceptance into the tribe—because alone we would face death.


The fear of failure feeds on the ego’s resistance that keeps us from taking action. We rationalize and accept limiting beliefs because it’s” safer” than putting ourselves out there. And in doing so, we get in our way.


Ironically there also is the fear of success–which could well be the scariest of all fears because it alienates us from all that we’ve ever known. Whether it’s in business or in weight loss; as much as we may want something different, it’s terrifying to imagine ourselves being other than the self we have known for so long.


How to Get Out of Your Own Way

The simple solution to get out of your own way is to let go.


Face your wounds and fears by looking inward and being objective. Imagine that you are giving advice to a good friend who is struggling with the same issue: what would you tell them to do?


Fight the misbelief that you can control external events and give up the delusion that others should act according to your preferences. Instead, focus on being more of your Higher Self.


Spend time away from your everyday environment and away from any type of stimulus. Physically immerse yourself in the beauty and calm of nature so that you can gain a different perspective. Actively question: What is another way I can look at this situation?


Want what you want—but be okay with not getting it.

Put in immense effort—but let go of the outcome.


Letting go is a daily practice. Find its credence in small acts such as appreciating the weather even when it’s not sunny and 80, staying calm in traffic backups, and not letting the opinions of others hurt you. The more you let go, the lighter you will feel. And you will get out of your own way.


Joe Carabase is an Entrepreneur, Coach and Author. Check out his latest book here. You can follow @joecarabase on Instagram and Facebook for more inspiring content! 





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