Categories: Gettin The Mind Right

How to Break the Cycle

Happy Monday!

It’s ironic that no matter what it is we are looking to do, there are forces that seem to be pulling against us.


The classic example is the people who want to start a weight loss journey. They know they need to work out yet don’t have the energy. They want to move more but get sore from everyday tasks.  So they don’t work out and become even more lethargic.


For people in that situation, it’s HARD to break the cycle.


To some extent we are all stuck in cycles. The ego locks into particular physical & mental behavior as a way to make sense of the chaotic world. While these patterns weigh us down, they also serve us in providing some sense of comfort. Referring to the people in the example above: they at least have comfort in knowing what to expect from what they do and don’t do. It can be very uncomfortable to break the cycle, make changes and step into the unknown.


We are living in a time now where we feel more out of control than ever before. This pushes us to hold onto things tighter as we don’t want that to be another thing that changes and becomes uncertain.


Yet as a result of holding onto things, we become attached and when we are attached, there is inherent tension. We hold onto things tightly because we fear loss. This causes us to become even more anxious and fearful of losing these things.


To Break the Cycle Takes Equal Parts Effort and Grace


Effort in that YOU need to break the cycle by taking small steps in the opposite direction. In the example of the people who want to lose weight, things like scheduling a consult & showing up for it are actually HUGE wins!


Here again you need to be aware of the ego. The ego would tell you, ‘It’s just a consult you didn’t do anything.’ The ego will ALWAYS do this. You could lose 20 lbs in 6 weeks, the ego will find something you are not doing well enough and bring your insecurities to the surface. Yet you can never lose 20 lbs if you skip the beginning steps in the process like signing up for the consult and showing up. And you can’t move beyond the 20 lbs to feel SECURE inside if you don’t lose the initial weight, so and so forth.


Know that the ego will never be satisfied, so don’t chase outcomes. Instead, direct your Effort forward. Focus on the Grace to keep you dancing, the grace to help you sway left/right, forward/back. To allow yourself to be vulnerable because you can’t become your best self if you hold any part of yourself back.


Personally I’ve never had an issue with effort. If anything, I’ve overcompensated with effort. At times in my life my insecurities were too much for me to face. It was easier to try harder rather than gracefully accept & face my feelings.


It doesn’t matter what you believe politically, you must know that the government is not going to save YOU.


Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how much your partner and family love you. Everyone operates out of their own highest values–which best serve THEM. Even their advice is from their perspective so they cannot give you what YOU need, no matter how supportive and loving they are.


The answer is within YOU. I know that sounds like a cliché, but it’s the truth.


Think of each day like a practice. In athletics, we practice to sharpen our skills and test our abilities to get better. A good coach will review practice notes and build off of them each week based on what’s working and what’s not.


In this way, YOU are your best coach. Only YOU see what is working, what is not. Only you truly know what you feel; what scares you and what excites you at the deepest level that you don’t feel comfortable admitting to anyone else.


Your anxieties, your fears—these are clues. What is your subconscious trying to tell you?


  • Look inward.


  • Find objectivity by asking yourself the hard questions.


  • Be open to the answers that appear. Break the cycle.


PS: If you are determined to lose 20 lbs or 5% body fat in 6 weeks, we have a challenge starting 9/12! Take that first step! Set up a phone consult for our Glastonbury, CT OR our Tequesta, FL locations at the respective links below:





Joe Carabase is an Entrepreneur, Coach and Author. Check out his latest book here. You can follow @joecarabase on Instagram and Facebook for more inspiring content! 





Have you been searching for the best whole-body workout in all of Connecticut? Look no further–it’s here at m.e.l.t. studios!  Try our M30 workout FREE — just send us an email at and we will hook you up with an amazing workout at one of our studios in Glastonbury, CT or Tequesta, FL!

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