Categories: Gettin The Mind Right

DO (Fulfillment) versus GET (Attachment)

Happy Monday!

There was a time in my life when I competed on two reality shows within two years. I competed because I thought “winning” would enable me to “help more people”.  What I didn’t understand is that I already had (and still have) exactly what I need to help more people! But the ego likes to disguise intentions to make them sound good. The ego loves “more” or “new” of anything that you don’t currently have.


Glamour- and desire-driven goals bond us to the thing we are after. We become attached to getting the thing and develop the emotional dependency of “needing it.”


On a subconscious level, we experience guilt when we act out of lust/desire and it comes at a cost.


Self esteem decreases and we experience envy, jealousy and that feeling that what we do is never enough.


Yet when we let go and “de-glamorize” the world, we are no longer at the mercy of our need for approval from others or from the ego itself. We free ourselves when we realize that we don’t need anything more than what we already are.


You are not your thoughts, your goals or even your body


YOU are the one that witnesses this unfolding movie of life…nothing outside of YOU can ultimately change YOU


When we can hone in on this level of awareness, we find inner peace and freedom.


We still have goals, but now we understand they exist more for the journey towards them, rather than simply achieving them.


You still put in all the effort, but know that you are not owed anything in return.


In this way expectations start to diminish and you can start to enjoy things for what they are.


Contrary to what I had always thought, it turns out life is much better when you SLOW down and enjoy what’s right in front of you.


We tend to have this self-made illusion that there’s somewhere better to be, something better to be doing, something that is MORE than what we already have. Yet what good is “better” if you can’t learn to enjoy what you already have?


There are no cheat codes in life. To ascend beyond your current stage, YOU must DO.

And remember that there’s a big difference between DO and GET.


We’ve become conditioned to want to GET immediately…

  • from social media algorithms designed to give us instant gratification to keep us engaged,
  • to Amazon’s two day deliveries on just about any product you could ever want,
  • to overly plentiful fast food options.

We’ve been programmed to expect to get instantly. Yet anything that delivers instant gratification lacks substance.


The “like” or new friend on social media is nowhere near as important as the bond of a best friend you’ve had for years.


Getting something from Amazon does not give the same type of gratification as would working and to find the product you want, and nowhere close to creating it yourself.


Fast food may taste good, but that taste is only temporary; the negative impact of the poor nutrition lasts far longer.


Things we think we need generally fall under the “lust” category that ties us to the feeling associated with the thing and since the thing cannot deliver upon the permanent solution we are after, we attach ourselves to the next thing.


Do Things for the Right Reasons


Expecting to GET sets you up for an endless cycle of negative emotion.


But when you focus on “doing” for the right reasons, you discover more about yourself and all that you are capable of.


You must EXPLORE your innermost capabilities and regard your “failures” as “learnings.” Use what has worked as fuel forward and what did not as guidelines of what to do differently in the future.


The happiest people I know are not necessarily the richest but those who are the most fulfilled. The origin of fulfillment is self growth, which must be earned.


Over 3 years ago my wife and I moved down to Florida, something I wanted to do my entire life. I had this vision of a utopia where everything was perfect! But the reality is that moving away from family & friends and businesses created inherent stress, then starting a life & business with no ties just piled it on.


When I graduated college, the idea of starting my own business was exciting and was going to be awesome! Until the drive home after graduation, realizing I had no idea how to make it work, nor money or backup plan to fall back on.


I’ve always thought that when I get X or move to Y, I’ll be good. Goals tend to lead us to believe in that if we could only realize them, life would be perfect. The reality is that with every accomplishment comes a new set of problems.


There’s great wisdom in the cliché “Wherever you go, there you are.” No matter where you go and what happens, it’s up to YOU to work through your inner wounds. Do the hard work so you can be present and enjoy what’s around you.




Joe Carabase is an Entrepreneur, Coach and Author. Check out his latest book here. You can follow @joecarabase on Instagram and Facebook for more inspiring content! 




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